Dadisms

Dadisms are little tidbits of wisdom I have gained on this path called Fatherhood. The list is organic and  in no particular order. I'm also open to submittals.

Dadism # 6:

If your toddler picks up the plate and licks it clean, do not stop them or scold them. This is the highest form of complement they can give. Be proud... say thank you

Dadism #400:

"morning routine"

Wake up

Make or purchase some over the top extravagant breakfast for your children, because "breakfast is the most important meal of the day"

Watch your children eat the "best parts of said breakfast with a predetermined prejudice and surgical skill

Eat remaining "yucky parts" off the plate, high chair, table, floor or where ever else it landed since it wasn't deemed worthy of being eaten.

Wash down with coffee

Prepare for round two "pre-lunch snack time aka Mommy is awake now"

This is the way of the world, Conform or Starve

Dadism #233:

As a child you were afraid of the monster that lived under your bed.

 As a college student you were afraid of the biology experiment in the microwave.

As a Parent you live in shear terror knowing that the monster from the bed is now in cahoots with the experiment from the microwave and they are living under the couch...and your children are feeding it.

                                             Dadism #849:

"The Lion King" making grown men cry since 1994

Dadism #17:

Watching Jasmine eat does not bode well for the future....

Dadism #18:

If they eat their body weight in french toast...start a savings account

Dadism #370:

Fatherly advice from me to Jasmine 

"You don't need to take your shirt off to poop"

Dadism #797:

Signs of aging are evident in the fact that I wake up before 7am without an alarm clock...and think "hmm I wonder if I have time to mow the lawn?"

Dadism #1079:

If I fell/tripped/tumbled/bounced as much as my toddler does, I'd be bruised/broken/battered/hospitalized. Someone should do a medical study on why infants are in fact miniature super-humans.

Dadism #1,034:

You know you're a dad when you walk into a house with three women and none of them are wearing pants....and you aren't even remotely shocked.

Children 'R Us, this is proof

My buddy, Mr. Kibler posted a picture of his daughters homework. This is proud parenting

I would have loved to see what the teacher's face was like as she/he read this.